The Single, Waiting Girl

A conversation that often occurs between myself and other single girls centers around the question, "What is a girl supposed to do about getting into a relationship?" We want the man to pursue, but how does he know to do so? My entire life I've been taught that I should wait on the Lord to bring me a husband, but what does that really mean? I've also heard that men need to be encouraged, prompted, and given signs, but what does that mean? Lately I've been wondering, what if it isn't about waiting, but it's about going and getting? Where is the balance?

I have friends who have no problem saying exactly how they feel to a guy. I have other friends who would rather walk over hot coals than reveal their hearts. I tend to lean toward that camp. I'm often heard saying, "But I don't want him to think I'm interested," when in fact, I am interested. So what's a single girl supposed to do? Am I supposed to just sit on the sidelines watching my friends? Or am I supposed to go out and find what I want?

These are the questions I've been wrestling with. Then just yesterday, I read this verse:

I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord. Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord. - Psalm 27:13&14

Waiting is hard, and it's easy to lose heart, but that is when we have to remember that we live by faith, and not sight. (2 Cor. 5:7) We don't have to depend on "signs" from a guy. We don't wait on a man to text us, or sit next to us, or like our latest social media update just so we know he's interested. We have to depend on a God who keeps His promises and keeps no good thing from His children. We wait for the Lord to move.

Sometimes I get hope mixed up. I place it in a man. I hope that he will text me, or I hope that I will see him, but that isn't fair to the man. If my hope is placed in an earthly thing, it will surely be crushed. That's why I have to hope in the Lord. Hope isn't just wishful thinking when God is involved, it is something that we can take hold of. (Hebrew 6:18) I can place my hope in God with full knowledge that I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living!

I'm reminded of the countless Biblical stories of people waiting no the Lord. Mary & Martha when they longed for Lazarus to be healed. (John 11) Sarah when she desired a baby. (Genesis 21) Noah as he built an ark. (Genesis 6) And my favorite, Hannah as she prayed for a son. (1 Samuel 1) Each of these people wanted something, and they waited on the Lord. Through the process of waiting they were changed. I'm sure they were ready to give up, or to try a different route, but they believed in the Lord's goodness, and they were strengthened by waiting.

We've all been there. We've all been told to wait. Maybe you are waiting on the Lord to bring you a spouse, or a baby, or for healing, or financial break though, or the salvation of a loved one. I want to encourage you to remember, "Waiting is not something we do until we get what we want. Waiting is the process of becoming what God wants us to be." (John Ortberg) It's not natural to wait, which is why we have to ask God to help us - to give us the grace to wait on Him and to give us ears to hear his direction when it is time to move. (Isaiah 30:21)

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