What is "The List?" Well, Internet, I'm glad you asked. It is simply the list of things you want in a future mate. I really don't know how the conversation came up, but there was a lot of discussion at the end of the night about Scott & Jeremy not having "The List" back in the days when they were single (and they both have amazing wives, by the way) and Laina not having a list. Raylene was the only one who did have a list....well minus me, but we're getting to that.
I debated for a minute about posting about singleness again since I feel like I write about it a lot. The truth is, being single is a big part of my life. As Raylene put it, it's almost part of my ministry right now. I firmly believe God doesn't take us through something for no reason. If He is taking me through it, then I want to give Him glory during it. So I'm giving Him the glory for my singleness. I am so thankful for it. Since I am single, I have to depend on Him, and only Him. I also have time to dedicate to family and friends that I wouldn't have if I were married. Is singleness a walk in the park? No. Do I pray daily that it is the season will end soon? Yes. I have to actively remind myself that God is in control, and He withholds no good things. Which is why I "Blingle" - meaning to blog about being single - coined by Jeremy. (Copyright pending.)
That brings us to tonight's post. I dug through my old journals to make sure I had my story straight. Luckily, I record my life in my journal, so I can tell you that on July 29th, 2008 I had a conversation with my grandpa. In it he encouraged me to write a short list of qualities I wanted in a man and begin praying over it. Later that same day, I had a conversation with Momma. She told me basically the same thing. I thought that if two people in my life told me the exact same bit of wisdom without knowing that the other had said it, I should probably follow it. So I sat down that evening with my journal and created this list.
You should know that I am very much against writing down the qualities that would make a perfect husband and expecting God to deliver simply because you made a list. My husband will be a human being just like me. Which means that he will have faults just like me. He will have weakness just like me. And he will not be perfect....unlike me. :) Seriously though. I don't want you all to think that this is about defining the perfect person. I believe it's about praying through God's will in your life. I could write all day about wanting a man to bring me flowers or clean out my car, but those are not the things I'm talking about here.
So my list is fairly simple....
1. A man after God's heart - Currently my friend Lenzi and I are reading a book about singleness together. In it the author says to pray for a man that doesn't want to break God's heart because then he won't want to break yours. A foundation in Christ is incredibly important to me. It's so much more than church attendance and tithing - which are imperative - it's about the relationship with Christ. I could almost end the list there, but I didn't.
2. A man with a vision - This one is based on Proverbs 29:18 "Where there is no vision, the people perish." I don't want to be the one directing a man's life. I want him to already have a clear vision from the Lord, and I pray our visions will meld together.
3. A man who will lead me - I need someone who is responsible and strong. Based on Ephesians 5, I believe that wives are supposed to submit to their husbands. I have a strong personality. I'm loud and outgoing. I can easily take on the leadership role, so it is imperative that I marry someone I respect, which for me is a man who has a strong sense of commitment and structure.
4. A man of integrity - This one is fairly black and white, but it is something that is so rare. I pray that God brings me a man who I can depend on to do the right thing.
5. A man who desires a family - If you were to ask me what my calling in life is, I might talk to you about my job in education, but the truth is, I feel called to be a mom Therefore, I pray for a husband who wants a children. Additionally I would love to be a stay-at-home mom someday, and I hope my future husband desires the same for our family.
6. A man who laughs - Psalm 126:2 is one of my very favorite Bible verses. It says, "Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with shouts of joy, then they said among the nations, 'The Lord has done great things for them, and they are filled with joy!" I long for a home that could be described with this verse. One full of laughter and fun. I desire a husband who laughs at my silly antics and ridiculous stories. Someone who understands the jokes I add to text messages and thinks the crazy ideas I come up with are charming.
7. A man who can take care of things - Okay, I know I have been tremendously spoiled by a dad who does a lot for me. I realize that most men are not as mechanically inclined as my father, and I am perfectly fine with that, but I still need a man who can take care of a house...and a car...and a dog. For instance, today I broke my garage door. Well, it wasn't really broken, the power went out, and I thought I could figure out how to open it, but I couldn't. When the power came back on, my garage door wouldn't open because I had pulled the little rope. Thankfully, Dad was able to trouble shoot with me over the phone, and I was able to escape the house, but those are the type of things I need a husband for.
And that's it, Internet. That's "The List." There are a lot of little things I could add, but none of those things are needs. If you want to hear about them, you should re-visit this video that I made with my friend Holly. Who by the way is now married, and I have no doubt he scores well above 100 on her list.