forty.five

I don't want to write this post. I have been avoiding it for some time now. I would rather write about my tips on wearing jeans with boots (because apparently Holly and Beth need me to write about that) or show you all more photos of my house, but I'm feeling prompted to write this. For the entire Internet to see. Which scares me.

Recently I stumbled upon a blog called Can You Stay for Dinner? To say that it's inspirational is an under statement. Andie writes about food and her journey of losing 135 pounds, and I saw so much of myself as I stalked browsed through her archives. It made me realize that keeping my story to myself is selfish. There could be a girl out there who is going through the same things as me. Who needs to hear someone say the things she has been thinking out loud. Even though this is uncomfortable for me, I'm going to do it. I'm going to write about my weight loss. I've done this before, but it's time for me to come back to it.

In the past 7 months I have lost 45 pounds. That's 7 newborn babies. 5 gallons of milk. 2 cinder blocks. 1 bag of dog food. Have you ever tried to lift a big bag of dog food into a shopping cart? It isn't easy. I often make myself look life a fool trying to do so, but that is a different post for a different day. Most people say, "45 pounds, that's awesome!" or "Wow, that takes a lot of dedication." or "You look amazing!" I hear all of these things, but I don't feel them. I still feel like the Jenny that carried 8 more inches around her waist. I still look in the mirror and see the Jenny that pushed sizes she swore she would never wear. It wasn't until I stumbled across a few of these photos on Facebook tonight that I realized I have changed.

The top 3 are my starting point. The bottom 3 are my current point.

I am learning a lot right now about loving myself as is. I'm learning that weight is not everything. I'm learning about loving food, and not longing for it. I'm learning about acceptance, motivation, health, nutrition, body image, exercise, and inspiration. But most of all, I'm learning to view myself the way God sees me. I can't wait to tell you all about it, and let you join me in this journey. Are you ready?

:j